Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Redeem my time, Lord!

Both Oliver and I are seminary students (since Jan 2011). Three weeks into our marriage - we came to MBTS for theological education to equip ourselves for future missions.

When we celebrated our first wedding anniversary (Dec 2011), we were done with one year of our seminary education, had started our weekend ministry and were settling in a church and had wonderful, godly friends who would and could speak into our lives. We told ourselves that one more year and we will be in the mission field.

We were planning a mission trip in August 2012 with few other friends who shared the same burden. We were meeting mission organizations to inquire and learn more about long-term mission possibilities. It was as if the desire and calling God had placed on Oliver's heart a decade ago was finally coming to completion. We saw things happen and pieces coming together. Things were planned and the plan was smooth.

But when things are smooth is when something is not quite right.

God intervenes: For us it was our pregnancy. We were  overjoyed, overwhelmed, happy and delighted but at the same time we were confused. Suddenly our next few years became uncertain. It was like we had to take another route to reach our destination - which would mean a delay and would require more time. We always imagined 2 of us in the mission field - but now there was a blur picture of a tiny someone.
When we face difficulties and feel weak, we realize God's goodness, mercy and might. We were trying to "speed" things up in order to be in the mission field. But I had to take a break from my studies - due to my pregnancy. Though this was not our plan, I believe this was God's plan. Though I had lost sight of things and was confused - God was still in control of my life.

I guess this was a much needed break. For the last 18 months both of us had been so busy and caught up in various activities and events: Preparing for the wedding, the wedding itself, trip to India for another wedding celebration, shifting to Penang - new people and new place, back to student life - with assignments, duties, ministry and a lot of readings, a new married life - adjusting to one another as well as to a new life as a married couple. Not that I am complaining, we enjoyed all of this - but it was all too rushed.

God allowed my pregnancy to bring the balance that was needed - especially in me. Oliver needed to slow down and I needed a break, a pause, a venue to reorganize my thoughts, life and many other aspects. If we didn't have this break - I would have collapsed before entering full time ministry - we would have burnt out!!

But thank God that He is always in control and sees things in order and perspective. We might not be very happy when things do not go our way and plans fail - but trusting God is what we must do.

Christ is our Redeemer - and He will redeem the time I think I have lost. 

Thank You Lord, that You take care of us - even when we do not see it.
Thank You Lord, for taking charge of our live.
Thank You Lord, that I am not alone and You share my burden as well as my passion.
Thank You Lord, for family and friends who speak into our lives and encourage us.
Thank You Lord, for Your everlasting love and care, providence and protection.
Thank You Lord, for You will redeem our time.

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