Tuesday, 8 January 2013

First day with the babysitter

My classes resumed today. Oliver starts work with the HCD department today as well. So both of us were preparing for our respective first days. We were also preparing for Lukas' first day with his babysitter. I packed his bag last night:
  • 8 pairs of clothing
  • 8 handkerchiefs
  • a pack of wet wipes
  • a pack of diapers
  • some cotton balls
  • a tin of milk powder and
  • a towel
These were the required things. I stuffed in a blanket, few bibs, his teether and a pair of socks. While packing his bag it felt as if I was sending him away... sob...sob...!!!

Oliver sent me to the seminary first as my classes start at 8AM. The babysitter only starts at 830AM. So Oliver had to drive back to the town to drop off Lukas. When Oliver dropped off Lukas he was still asleep. He just woke up in time to say "bye-bye" to his dad. I was concerned about Oliver dropping him off - was afraid he might forget to relay some instructions to the babysitter. But I am glad I wasn't there - it would have been hard for me to leave him alone with strangers. I would have been more worried than I already was. I wouldn't have been able to face his innocent face asking, "mum, can't I come with you? Please...PLEASE!!!!"

Well, when we picked him up he looked a bit sad. I guess he knew but did not understand why the familiar faces of his beloved parents were not there. I wonder if he was thinking and could not comprehand why the parents who love him so much and show so much affection would leave him all alone with complete strangers. When I saw him after my class I felt as if his tiny eyes were questioning, "mom, why?? why?? Why have you abandoned me?"

Sounds familiar??? Isn't this something we always feel?? - abandoned by God?? We question Him, "Why did you create me if you can't care for me" but that's just how we look at it. If we look at the WHOLE picture, we see that God has been there for us and with us throughout. And the times we feel that we are abandoned - He is right at the corner constantly looking out for us. And through my experience with my 4-month old son  I can say that it hurts me more than he knows to leave him with a babysitter so I understand that it might hurt God more then we know. Whatever we do as in attending classes and taking up a job Lukas is and will be part of our plan, just as we are always part of God's plan.

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